My son is a fan of nail polish. The other day he excitedly went with me when I got a pedicure and selected red, yellow, purple, and blue polish to be painted on his toes. The next day, someone in his life whom he looks up to told him that “only girls wear nail polish.” When he relayed this to me my blood boiled, I actually think I saw red, and plenty of sadness was mixed in with the rage. WHY?! Why does color, self-expression, fashion, self-care (things associated with nail polish) belong to girls?
He told me he wanted to wear sneakers to school the next day so no one saw and asked when the polish rubs off (the rage I felt towards this person who broke his spirit increasing with each word my son uttered). I don’t know if I handled the situation well, as a mom I question everything I do, always. My first instinct was to hop on the internet and show him the millions of pictures of men and boys wearing polish. I selected a wide range of ages, races, fashion styles, etc when picking which pictures to show his worried little face. After a handful of pictures he felt a bit better.
I then took to Facebook, where a number of friends posted supportive and validating comments, links to videos or podcasts, and pictures of themselves or a man in their own life wearing nail polish. Next, I looked for a children’s book. If you have read any of my other posts, you know that I often turn to books to help me navigate conversations on challenging topics with my son. I found “I love my colorful nails” by Alicia Acosta and Luis Amavisca, illustrated by Gusti. Whew.
I know this will come up over and over and over again. People will tell my son to fit into a narrow male gender role and for anything deemed outside of that role people will make their disdain known. SO many things are outside, apparently nail polish, kindness, cupcakes, kittens, the color pink. What message does it send to our sons when we tell them something colorful, happy, and fun belongs only to girls? Spoiler, it’s toxic masculinity and devastated mental health.
Since I’m a pissed off and extremely concerned mama and not a writer, I’ll share this from “Boys Wearing Nail Polish: Is It A Big Deal?”
“No matter how hard people work to shatter gender norms, break stereotypes and try to raise their children to be able to express themselves however they choose, there are always critics and naysayers who are quick to criticize. Any parent who has ever been side-eyed for letting their son wear a dress or paint their nails, or who lets their daughter choose a ‘boy’ toy to play with knows how frustrating these antiquated views on how children should dress, act and behave simply based on their sex can be.
Just last week a 17-year-old Texas boy was given an in-school suspension because he violated his school’s dress code by daring to wear nail polish. Trevor Wilkinson publicly called out his school for their sexist dress code (the nail polish ban only applies to males,) then created a Change.org petition to lobby the school to change it. That petition currently has almost 240,000 signatures.
Wilkinson isn’t the first male to be judged and ridiculed for choosing to wear nail polish. Two years ago Aaron Gouveia’s 5-year-old son Sam was mocked and teased by classmates because he wore nail polish to school. Not only did Aaron paint his nails in solidarity with his son, but New England Patriots star Rob Gronkowski took to Twitter to assure the young boy that he should feel confident doing whatever made him happy and to stay true to himself.”
Thanks for lending your voice Gronk.
whatsaboymom 