Last spring, mom Elissa Strauss wrote this article: Why Girls Can Be Boyish But Boys Can’t Be Girlish.
She is a writer and therefore able to frame her thoughts in a way that I sometime struggle to. I couldn’t agree with her more, thanks Elissa. Here’s an except from the article:
“Though feminism has made great progress in stripping childhood of gender norms, the efforts have been awfully lopsided.
Today, there’s not a single traditionally masculine thing a girl can do that would raise eyebrows. Join a sports team? Over half of them do it. Play with toy guns? Nerf makes a line just for them. Cut their hair short? Celebrities Katy Perry, Janelle Monae and Scarlett Johansson all have locks that measure under half a foot. Interested in STEM? On trend. Pretend they are superheroes? Last year’s “Wonder Woman” is one of the highest-grossing superhero movies of all time.
Meanwhile, there’s still not a single traditionally feminine thing a boy can do that wouldn’t raise eyebrows. A boy who likes wearing jewelry or makeup, twirling in a tutu or caring for baby dolls is at best the subject of conversations conducted sotto voce. At worst: a bully’s target.”
She quotes Michael Kimmel, a professor of sociology and gender studies and author of Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men. Kimmel says: ” Women have changed what it means to be a woman and embrace a much larger human canvas. Men are still painting on half the canvas.”
Our boys are constricted. Our boys are given a narrow definition of masculinity and are bullied and chastised when they stray from this definition. This hurts our girls too. Strauss then delves into the concept of masculinity, saying “I get it. Permitting, let alone encouraging, boys to be more girly is scary. We want our boys to keep being like boys because masculinity is still where the power lies. And we want our girls to be more like boys for the same reason.” So, we need to do more than make it ok for boys to play with dolls, we need to change the notion of power. “Widening the perimeters of boyhood would be a great place to begin this work of redefining power.”
Gloria Steinem’s “We’ve begun to raise daughters more like sons … but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters,” still holds truth and we must also address the notion that our son’s role & masculinity holds all of the power. Head spinning? Mine too. Thanks for being here and sticking with me as I try to express myself.
whatsaboymom 